The Phillies were playing at 1 pm today so I decided to head to the local watering hole to enjoy a few adult beverages and watch the local sports ball team (The game didn’t go very well). What follows is a few of my notes on my time at the bar.

  • First song playing is Unwritten. You can’t hate Natasha Bedingfeld starting off your solo adventure at the sports bar on a Thursday afternoon. “today is where your book begins,” thanks, Nat. I needed that.
  • I wish I had known the Phillies were wearing their baby blue unis. I’m hiding my boner in the bar.
  • If its 2 pm now, and 59 cent boneless wings begin at 5, do you think I can make it until then? (Update: I didn’t make it until then.)
  • Eating while on the phone has to be one of the most disrespectful things of all time. This dude next to me has no manners.
  • A bartender friend of mine made me a Dark and Stormy about a year ago. I’ve been on a quest to try it at a bar, but every time I ask someone, they always look at me like I have three heads. Update: Today was not the day I got a dark and stormy. Bummer.
  • Looking around and realizing you’re the only person in a bar/restaurant is a startling realization.
  • Jordan Spieth looks like a fucking idiot in orange.

-tomfoolery was here