Part of my brand is being pretty even-keel. Not a whole lot of things can get me out of equilibrium. But one thing that I absolutely DESPISE is those try-hards that jog in place while waiting for a stoplight to change.

I don’t know the science, but this can’t do much to actually improve a workout. Like actually remaining stationary and waiting for the light to change like a civilized fucking person can’t be that detrimental to the success of a workout. I’ve never been much of a working out guy, but whenever I do, I respect social norms and I don’t look like a psychopath in the crosswalk.

I just felt like something had to be done regarding this atrocity. I saw it while driving today and I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. For the record, I’m also out on working out with a partner, especially running. How am I supposed to maintain a conversation with someone while running out of breath every two seconds?

I’ve seen it a lot in dating app bios: “Looking for a gym buddy!” Toots, I can assure you, you don’t want this as a buddy. I don’t need a lady that I’m attempting to lay with see me red-faced and sweating at the gym while I try to do 40 pounds on curls because you know what they say: Curls for the girls. (Realistically, I would only do 30 pounds, but I can’t downplay my strength on the blog. I hope you understand my fib.)

Just to reiterate. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, jog in place while waiting for the signal to change at a stoplight. Tap-tap-revolution lookin’ ass.

-tomfoolery was here