This should be a universally-accepted concept, but the olds have unfortunately ruined something else. Are we surprised?

When you go out to eat, you enter into an unspoken agreement as the customer. They’ll probably fuck up your order, or it won’t be the right temperature, or something else will go wrong. As a customer, your unspoken agreement and unwritten social contract states that you can’t take your food back because that’s just the way it goes.

As a piece of shit who has chosen not to cook or eat at home, you simply must be okay with your food being exactly the way you want it only about 68% of the time. The remaining percentage is your tax for not being willing to cook your own dinner.

I was raised in a house hold where my mom always sent shit back and I always just tucked my tail and said my food was fine every single time. When the waiter asks how everything is, if you say anything besides “fine” or “good,” you’re just being a pompous asshole. By not sending food back, you become more satisfied when the food actually comes out right. It’s important to have gratitude every now and then.

The same rules go for tipping. There’s pretty much no reason to not give a 15-20% tip because I feel like most of the time when shit goes wrong, it’s the kitchen’s fault.

-tomfoolery was here

I’m a twenty-something that actually likes his job but has a lot of free time on his hands for now. I’ve always wanted to see what being a blogger is like, so this is my platform to give it a shot. Where did the title of the blog come from? One of my favorite comedians, Demetri Martin, has a hilarious bit that goes along the lines of this:

“How bad does a guess have to be for it to be an uneducated guess? – What’s the temperature outside? – hmm, idk, Carrots?”

So this blog will be a bunch of uneducated guesses about a lot of topics. I don’t know much about anything but I’m going to try my best. I might throw some picks out, I might just dump a bunch of weird thoughts and ideas out, I might use this as a diary, I’m not sure what this will turn into.

-tomfoolery was here